Love's Worst Enemy

I recently read John Mayer’s interview with Playboy magazine. At one point during the interview, Mayer says – in regards to his break up with Jennifer Anniston – “Have you ever loved somebody, loved her completely, but had to end the relationship for life reasons?” This quote got me thinking about how often I’ve experienced this in my own relationships; so, in this piece I want to look at what I believe to be love’s two most formidable foes… Timing and circumstance.

Milan Kundera

A pure icon. Author of "The Unbearable Lightness of Being",  "The Book of Laughter and Forgetting", "Ignorance", and others. 

The Timing

How many relationships end with some statement like, "It's just not the right time" or, "You met me at the wrong time", or anything that uses "time" in one fashion or another to call the whole thing off.  On the one hand I think you can use "timing" as the ultimate scapegoat excuse for leaving a relationship.  On the other hand you can't ignore the fact that timing is paramount to any two people having any type of relationship- even friendships.  I am beginning to feel like timing matters more than any kinds of feelings or connection that could ever erupt between two people.  I think timing might even be bigger than love itself.  Or that timing is 89% of what most people call "true love".

Snafu- Justin Belovicz

The Grassroots Relationship

I think one question we all ask ourselves sometimes is: How can I go about this relationship thing in a better way? Only an extreme narcissist would be able to disagree. In consideration of the last piece, I’d like to explore the idea of how we can avoid this false construction of this other person. The two concepts in the piece title are inextricably linked: Anti-Attachment and the grassroots relationship. The idea is this: by remaining unattached and being emotionally rigid and at least somewhat rational, you can build relationships that are based on more than just what you want someone to be— a grassroots relationship in its purest.