the pure blog

A Short Rant on the Four Relational Seasons of Michiganders

Spring

- The warmer weather starts to melt the stagnate frost of your winter relationship.

- The need for warmth and comfort in the bitter days of winter is replaced by a longing for freedom and newness inspired by the possibilities symbolized by spring.

- Winter’s hibernation-like relationships are pruned off and the individual blossoms with possibility.

- No matter the depth of the love you have for each other, something in your DNA--or your sex organs--begins to stir. Many manage to fight this biological urge to cut loose, and just as many resent themselves for it when their partner breaks it off first.

- Suddenly you look around and feel as through you’ve been dropped off in downtown LA. People are beautiful, healthy, and tan. Gone are the days of pasty legs and sullen smiles. And as the world becomes beautiful, we feel we must do the same.

- Guys and girls alike hit the gym and tanning salon to ensure that they are in top form for the countless shirt-and-pant-less situations they will no doubt encounter throughout the summer.

- It is a time for shedding the old, and preparing for the new.

Summer

- Mating season.

- May, June, and July are characterized by quick, passionate flings and more often than not, feelings of faux true love.

- The thrill of a late night rendezvous with a mate quickly becomes more meaningful than the care and compassion we enjoyed during the winter months.

- Every new relationship enjoys a honeymoon phase during the summer months.

- The endless string of concerts, parties, camping trips, road trips, festivals, bonfire, lakes, boats, and booze will combine to make any relationship seem like the best you’ve ever had.

- Whether you choose to stick with one pure summer mate, or you opt for seizing as many opportunities as you can, summer is time for freedom and recklessness, and thus, summer romances are untamed and almost always short lived, but are absolutely always fun and worthwhile.

Fall

- August marks a change. Our bodies sense the winter months ahead and our nesting tendencies kick in—it’s time for a new mate.

- At this point, you will decide to stick with the summer fling for the temporary long haul, or, you may find yourself scrambling to lock something down before the temperature drops below 50 degrees.

- Skirts and shorts change to jeans and cords. Tanks and tees change to sweaters and hoodies. Aimless sex drive becomes focused pursuit.

- Fall lends its self to romance: Strolls through an orange forest, trips to the cider mill, movies, football games, sweatshirts and blankets. As the summer slowly burns out, we sift through the ashes for something to hold onto; something to entertain and comfort us when the world goes dark and cold.

Winter

- For most, hibernation is now in full effect.

- If you were unable to find a suitable mate by fall’s end, you will join the rest of the laggards as they fight their way to the bar through wind, snow, ice, and Arctic temperatures, in hopes of stumbling upon someone to nest with for at least one night, and hopefully more.

- All we really want during this season is someone who likes the way we look in nasty ass sweatpants and our favorite hoodie… maybe even a snuggy if you’re really lucky. In fact, if you find someone who likes the way you look in a snuggy, drop everything and propose.

- We want to get dressed up for dinner, then come home, throw on our slippers, crack a bottle—or box depending on your mutual budget—of wine and watch a different movie every night.

- We want to meet our mate’s family for Sunday brunch, and be sure to stop by on thanksgiving and Christmas. We want to seal our love with a kiss on New Year’s eve, hoping all the while that when the ice starts to melt we’ll both still feel the same; though odds are, we won’t.

Indeed, the seasons are a bitter-sweet medley of joy and pain, love and loss, possibility and limits. Each one has it's benefits and pitfalls. No one likes to get dumped at the end of a hard fought winter love, but we all love the thrill of a new romance once we see the sun for the first time in 6 months. There is something undeniable about the influence of the seasons on our behavior, and I think it better to embrace it than ignore it. Get head over heels in a summer love, but be prepared for it to end as the scramble for a mate begins come fall. Your little nuances and habits that a lover found charming while you had your parents cottage to yourselves for the weekend may seem less attractive when she/he realizes you'll essentially be locked in a cave together for the next half year. And similarly, when winter ends and your love is tested by biology, be prepared for either outcome, and don't dwell or get down if you and your lover don't last.

The bottom line is that you should enjoy whatever you have while you have it, and be equally prepared to let it go at the same time. Because if there's one thing I've learned, it's that love is-- more often than not-- a fleeting occurrence; one that does not last more than it's scheduled time no matter how hard you try to preserve it. So have fun this summer. Let go of whatever is holding you back and just be free, joyous, and pure. Do not burden yourself with anything except the possibility that you are not enjoying your time ENOUGH!

And if you ever get down on yourself about some outcome that you were so sure of, just remember this...

While we can never be certain that a season's romance will last, we can be sure that regardless of the outcome, there's always next season.